Hi Everyone 🙂
I have some sad and unexpected news to share with you all. Unfortunately, my trip with the World Race has been cut one month short, and I am currently en route back to the U.S. As many of you know, my squad and I were in our last country, Uganda. We arrived about a month ago, and it’s been a wild and honestly uncertain ending to an incredible journey.
When I last blogged, I updated you all about our final debrief in Diani, Kenya. At the end of our time in Kenya, we were placed on new teams and received our final ministry assignments for our last country. My team, Fresh Wind, was placed with a ministry in a city called Mukono. The ministry with this host was so exciting! My whole team had the opportunity to do street evangelism, street preaching, and teach and preach at several different churches.
After our first week of ministry, I started to feel pretty sick and ended up needing to go to the hospital. I was initially diagnosed with a severe bacterial infection, but after more tests in the following visits, I tested positive for a bacteria called H. Pylori. My friends and I nicknamed my bacteria “Perry,” so I’ll refer to him that way to lighten the mood, lol. Anyway, the entrance of Perry into my life drastically impacted my last leg of the World Race. He challenged me, shook my faith, and stretched me in ways I never expected.
After my initial diagnosis, I had four hospital visits in the first week I was sick and experienced some of the most intense pain of my life. During this time, I spent a lot of time alone while my teammates were out doing ministry. That time alone was really difficult – my mind went to some scary places regarding my health and safety. I had to wrestle with the fact that even though I knew I was in God’s will by being in Uganda, His will felt extremely painful. If this was God’s will for my life, maybe I didn’t want it.
In those first days, I was buying just about every lie the devil tried to sell me: “God wants you to suffer.” “There’s no point in you even being here.” “You don’t have enough faith to be healed.” Those thoughts echoed in my mind for the first few days of my illness. I was also praying a lot – asking God to show up and whether I could go home. It felt like He wasn’t answering, which made me think it was my decision to stay or go.
Something about me is that I’m not a quitter, and the idea of “giving up” so close to the end didn’t sit well with me. I decided to stay. During that time, our team was pulled from our initial host assignment and placed with the other team so we could receive better care for those of us who were sick.
In week two of my sickness, we were reunited with the rest of our squad! It was the sweetest reunion of the entire race – it felt like coming home to family after walking through something so incredibly difficult. The other team was so quick to see what each of us needed and how they could help and love us. That week, I actually felt pretty good. If I feed Perry enough, he usually doesn’t hurt me too much – he just gets mad when I get hungry. So during the second week of my illness (the third week of our time in Uganda), I was able to participate some in ministry and spend a lot of quality time with my squad, as well as with the women who worked at our house and their babies. This ministry was largely door-to-door evangelism, Bible studies, and preaching at churches, with a few other outreach opportunities mixed in.
In week three, unfortunately, Perry reared his ugly head again. I became sick again and also developed an infection. So, I got to visit my now very close friends at the hospital two more times for more tests and a new round of medication. During that last week, my health was pretty up and down.
I did have one day where I felt good enough to go out for evangelism. I went out with my friends John and Lillie and our translator. The Lord really spoke through me that day to a few people. I had the opportunity to share parts of my testimony with three ladies who were laughing together while doing laundry. I learned that they thought they were too far gone to receive Jesus – and that’s one of my favorite things to hear while evangelizing. Because once, I was as far from the Lord as one could possibly be, but His grace was sufficient for me, and it’s sufficient for them too!
We had the opportunity to lead two of those women to salvation that day. Their neighbor had overheard our conversation and invited us over, saying essentially, “I want that too.” Simply by overhearing, she decided she wanted to give her “yes” to Jesus. Later, we had another conversation with a Muslim woman who was afraid to follow Jesus because of her parents’ disapproval. She wasn’t ready to commit, but seeds were planted – and her neighbor overheard that conversation and gave her life to Jesus! That day, I got to witness four women give their lives to the Lord.
That evening, as we were preparing to host our nightly Bible study, a group of kids I recognized gathered outside our gate. I grabbed one of our children’s Bibles, sat with them, and read Scripture. I prayed over each one individually and taught them about what the Bible says.
The very next day, my health took another turn for the worse. I couldn’t keep down any food, and my body was in so much pain. I talked to my mom, who (as any normal parent would) wanted me to come home. By this point, I had been sick for three weeks. The doctors weren’t helping, diet plays a big role in this illness, and I had no control over what I could eat. Thus began my second major internal battle. The lies about quitting and giving up began creeping back in.
It felt like running a marathon and quitting at mile 21. I started thinking about all the Bible says about suffering – that we are called to “rejoice in our suffering” and that to suffer for Christ is a gain. Maybe this is what God wanted for me, and I just needed to push through. And as I was wrestling with what to do, everyone kept asking the dreaded question: “Have you prayed about it? What does God say?”
To be honest, I had zero interest in asking God. The first time I asked, I didn’t hear anything. I was afraid that if I prayed, He wouldn’t answer me – or worse, that He would ask me to stay when I so desperately wanted to go.
Eventually, I worked up the courage to ask my Father in heaven what He wanted me to do. And with absolute assurance and no hesitation, I heard His still, small voice: “You can go home. It’s time to go.”
I couldn’t believe it. I thought I was supposed to suffer, and that pulling out of the suffering wouldn’t honor God. But I’m so quick to forget how much He loves me. So quick to forget that He doesn’t want me to suffer, that He cares for me so much He would take all of this pain from me in a moment. He loves me so much that He suffered the most painful death so that I wouldn’t have to. That’s who my God is – a loving Father who has never left my side, who’s been with me through every moment of pain, every tear, every second of anguish.
I believe the reason I didn’t get a clear answer during the first week I prayed was because of what I got to do in week two. It would have been okay for me to leave earlier, but I would’ve missed an opportunity to do something God uniquely equipped me for. But for now, God has made it clear that my race is over.
The truth is, my race wasn’t cut short – this was always the race I was meant to run. I did, said, learned, and experienced everything God had for me this year. I left the field with so much peace and gratitude.
As I prepare to step back onto American soil for the first time in almost ten months, I just wanted to share some of this wild roller coaster with you all. I’ll be landing in Detroit on Wednesday, October 22nd — exactly one month and one day earlier than expected. I plan to see doctors in the U.S. so we can have Perry evicted once and for all. I’d be so grateful if you’d keep me and the rest of my squad in your prayers.
I’m coming home with a lot of different emotions. It’s sad to leave my friends and the mission early, but my heart is hopeful, eager, and excited to see what God has next. I’m a little apprehensive about the re-entry process, but confident that God will show up for me like He always does.
Thank you all so much for every prayer you’ve prayed, every word of life you’ve spoken, every dollar donated, every text sent, and every post shared. I couldn’t have run this race without you, and I couldn’t be more blessed by the incredible village behind me. Each one of you is a reminder of how much my Father loves and cares for me. Thank you for everything.
If you’d like to continue praying for me and my squad still on the field, here are a few ways:
- Health: I’m not the only one with H. Pylori, and my friend who also has it is still on the field. There have been many other health issues too— infections, food poisoning, injuries. Please pray for health, healing, and restoration for S-Squad.
- Endurance: Pray that my squad finishes their race strong, keeping their eyes on eternity and on Jesus.
- Re-entry: Pray for my re-entry process. I’ll be seeking community in Michigan for now, and I don’t have much of that yet. Pray that the Lord reveals the right places for me to be and draws me into community.
- Family: Pray for my mom and dad, that God would give them peace after all the stress of having their daughter so far from home while sick.
- Provision: Pray for my four friends who are still not fully funded—that the Lord’s provision would be poured out on them.
I think that’s all for now 🙂
Hugs and Prayers,
Amanda
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